Snow Days, Friend or Foe?

This is my first snow day since elementary school. I realize I’m 25 years old, but the prospect of staying inside and watching Sammy freak out and try to attack sleet through the window is more thrilling that I’d like to admit.

730am: Try relentlessly to get Vlad to stay home from work. They gave him the option to work from home! Take it! Hello? Don’t try to prove your Coloradoness by saying “Ah, a little snow never hurt anyone.” Um, we are in Atlanta. We have slushy snow. It is icy. It’s not the dry wonderful snow you have in Colorado.

We also have four snow plows for the entire city.

When the ice scraper broke off in Vlad’s hand when he was scrapping his windshield…I told him it was a sign from God. He finally agreed when he saw someone spin out while trying to get up the treacherous hill in the apartment complex. Not because I had been telling him to stay in since last night.

He never listens to me.

8am: I send the obligatory “I spun out trying to get out of my complex and I think I need to stay home” email.

810am: Via Mr. G- “Stay put and don’t risk it.”

Such a Dad answer. He is so awesome.

8:15am:

Me (in true southerner fashion): SQUEEEEE! VLAD! I DON’T HAVE TO GO TO WORK EITHER!  AND IT’S STILL SLEETING! I LOVE SNOW! SNOW SNOW SNOW! LOOK AT SAM! AGHH! CAN WE BUILD A SNOW MAN? I WANT TO THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU!

Vlad: *Sigh* I’m never going to get any work done today. I promise we can build a snowman later, and I’ll even let you hit me in the face with a snowball.

Me: YAYYYYYY! (I sound like a three year old) I PROMISE I WON’T BOTHER YOU TODAY AT ALL! I’ll be quiet. You won’t even know I’m here.

9am: *CRASH*

9am and thirty seconds:

Me: Sorry! I accidentally knocked my laptop off the table!

Vlad: *groan*

911am: *CRASH* *THUMP THUMP THUMP*

Sammy (the cat): BRROOWWW

Vlad: WHAT THE HELL!

Me: Sammy tried to jump through the window to get to these cute birds outside and he tore off the blinds. I’ll fix it!

Vlad: *Arrrgghhh*

Me: I promise you won’t hear another peep. I’ll just watch T.V.

930am: I’m still excited about the prospect of being off today! I can watch Vlad’s cable!!

935am: Settle in, turn on the TV and wait for the magic.

936am: Becoming more and more depressed at the prospects.

Options to watch:

Catholic Mass

Telemundo (Spanish channel)

Good Morning America

Atlanta Today

Regis and Kelly

Maurie

Channel 2 Action News: STORM WATCH

Pregnant and Paralyzed

……

It is definitely going to be a long day.

SEX AND THE CITY BEHIND THE SCENES IS ON! Shhh….guilty pleasure.

10am: Smoke the second cigarette of the day

1045am: Smoke again with nothing better to do.

11am: Eat some cereal and drink the last of the coffee

1105am: YAY! Vlad got a byline!

1110am: Begin to grind teeth and claw at the door from caffeine high.

1115am: Check to see how Vlad is doing. He does pacify my boredom by having inane Sex and the City conversation for about ten minutes until he shoos me out of the bedroom where his desk is.

1132am: Smoke again

12pm: Starting to feel claustrophobic.

1215am: Smoke

1215pm: Running out of cigarettes! Also developing a strong cough and sore throat from the chainsmoking induced by boredom.

1230pm: Realizing I haven’t just stayed in the house THE ENTIRE DAY WITHOUT LEAVING since I was 16 and could drive.

1232pm: Hyperventilation paired with smoker’s cough. Can’t tell if I’m having an asthma attack or hyperventilating or both.

1235pm: Bangs head on arm of chair.

1245pm: Oh my God, I decided to do…laundry….

1pm: Update my Facebook for the 989,999th time today.

109pm: Check Twitter for the 100th time today

110pm: Checks to see if anyone has updated their Twitter in the last 30 seconds.

111pm: Check again.

115pm: Start typing my symptoms into WebMD

130: Oh my God, I am going to die.

135pm:

Me: Vlad, according to WebMD, I think I am going to die of an uncurable disease based on my symptoms.

Vlad: Sorry to hear that. You’ll be missed.

Me: No really, it says so. And it turned red and said “emergency, seek medical attention.”

Vlad: Want a cigarette with me before you go?

Me: Yeah, why not.

*While smoking*

Me: Vlad, feel right here. Right here! You feel that lump under my ear! Oh God! There’s one on my throat! DO YOU FEEL THAT??

Vlad: Pretty sure that’s just your glands swelling from you fighting off your sore throat.

Me: Oh.

2pm: I am actually cleaning….CLEANING…the apartment to keep my mind off of my imminent death.

My God. I am becoming….domestic. Can you believe it? Too bad I’m apparently going to be gone soon.

Stupid WebMD.

Laundry (check)

Pick up apartment (check)

Do dishes (check)

Watch bad baby tv shows on TLC (…check)

Clean kitchen (check)

Smoke a pack of cigarettes in boredom (almost check)

Damn it. It’s only 230pm and I’ve already finished my book I brought with me from my apartment.

…Netflix it is =(


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